How do you hold on to a dream when life events interrupt your plans?

Maybe you’re in a season where your dreams feel out of reach because of unexpected challenges—grief, loss, or simply the weight of life’s responsibilities. Is God still working, even in the waiting?

IF YOU’VE EVER FELT LIKE YOUR DREAM HAD TO BE PUT ON HOLD, THIS IS THE EPISODE FOR YOU!

Jill Felix knows what it’s like to navigate deep loss while still holding onto a God-shaped dream. In this conversation, she shares how personal grief, stepping away from work, and finding rest in God ultimately helped shape her journey as a CoreClarity coach for believers who want to know what to do with their results from the Clifton StrengthsFinder Assessment.

From understanding her own talents to launching Radiate Life Coaching, Jill’s story is a powerful reminder that God’s timing is perfect, even when life feels uncertain.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
💔 How grief and unexpected loss can shape your calling,
🌿 The importance of Sabbath rest and rhythms that sustain you, and
🛤️ Practical ways to move forward in your purpose, even in seasons of waiting.

If you’ve ever wondered if you’ve missed your moment or felt like life’s detours have delayed your purpose, let Jill’s story remind you: God is never late, and He is still leading you forward—one step at a time.

Throughout this month we are exploring the theme of purpose, so press play and let’s get started!

CONNECT WITH MERRITT:

Website || Facebook || Instagram || Submit a Question

CONNECT WITH JILL:

Website || Jill’s Coaching Offer for DD listeners

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

An Offer from Jill Felix:

If you want to start living, working & dreaming from your God-given gifts and talents, connect with Jill about her special offer for Devoted Dreamers.

Listener Survey:

Will you please respond to a 4-question listener survey?
Share your thoughts about the show here: https://www.merrittonsa.com/input

Join the Community:

If you have a passionate, purposeful desire to use your gifts and talents for God’s glory, then the Dream Believers community is for you! Join the waitlist today!

Scripture:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
~ Hebrews 10:23-25 (NIV)

Enjoy This Episode?

Facing your own health struggles and wondering how to not give up on your dream? You might also like: Ep 268: How Weakness Will Show Us the Way Back to Ourselves, Kimberly Phinney.

Here are some additional episodes about purpose that you might find helpful:

Ep 329: The Truth About Your Unique Purpose as a Christian Apple | Spotify

Ep 276: Find Your Purpose: 12 Steps to Uncover a God-Given Dream Apple | Spotify

Ep 286: Top 3 Traps Standing in the Way of Your God-Given Purpose Apple | Spotify

Ep 300: How to Not Miss God’s Purpose for Your Life w/ Tracey Gates Apple | Spotify

New to the Devoted Dreamers Podcast?

START HERE → with my free guide: 17 Quick-Win Actions to Get Your Dream Moving Forward. It’ll help you build some momentum to keep taking steps toward your dream and help you discern where to go from there.

PIN IT FOR LATER:

The unedited transcript for this episode of The Devoted Dreamers Podcast follows:

Welcome to episode 331 of the Devoted Dreamers Podcast all about Finding Purpose Again After Grief and Loss of a Loved One.

What becomes of your dream when life events interrupt the plans? What if you have unexpectedly entered a season of grief and loss?

This is the hidden story behind a lot of our dreams. The parts that feel so intimate and private. That don’t get highlighted on social media. But along with life comes loss, and while there’s always more to the story than can be shared in a short podcast episode, I wanted to give you a glimpse of how one sister faced grief and loss without losing her dream.

I’m talking today with Jill Felix, a passionate advocate for helping believers like us understand our divine purpose and identity in Christ. Jill’s deepest desire is to help us recognize how God has uniquely wired us so we can run the race God has set before us.

The specific details of how her dream would come to life weren’t always obvious—I think that will be super relatable for a lot of us—and just as she was beginning to see hints of her dream, her dad was diagnosed with dementia.

In this episode you’ll learn how grief and unexpected loss can shape your calling, the importance of Sabbath rest and rhythms that sustain you, and practical ways to move forward in your purpose even in seasons of waiting.

This story is all about stepping out in faith with the talents God gives, even when you cannot see the “how” or the “when.”

This is only part 1 of my conversation with Jill. So be sure to come back next week for part 2 with where we talk about how understanding your unique wiring can be the key to unlocking the path to a dream. Don’t miss it!!

Also would you be so kind as to answer a few questions about your experience listening to the Devoted Dreamers podcast? That’s if you’ve just been here for one episode or you’ve been listening for a long time. Share your anonymous thoughts with me about the show at: https://www.merrittonsa.com/input.

I’m your host, Merritt Onsa, a Christian life coach. I’m kind of like the Joanna Gaines for women of faith who have big dreams about how God might reorder the second half of your life so you can use your gifts and life experiences to usher in beauty, redemption, healing and service to others. It’s not a redesign of your home that we’re working on. It’s a brand-new way to live—in freedom, free from fear, free from second guessing yourself all the time, and free from the lies that the enemy has used to keep you quiet and playing small in the past. Isn’t it about time more of us who believe in Christ started living that way?

I’m on a mission to engage 10,000 women worldwide to start taking intentional and purposeful steps that will bring their God-shaped dreams to life. If you believe in Jesus and you see his work in your life and you’re aware that you’ve been given gifts, talents and a life story that could serve and benefit others, maybe you’re among those 10,000. I hope that you are, because you’re here listening to a podcast about dreams.

Maybe you’re looking for a chance to see if your dream has legs. You want to try it on for size and figure out if it’s possible. You want to be inspired and encouraged that there’s hope for what you’ve been dreaming all these years. Maybe you’ve been too fearful in the past, or someone dashed your dreams with a comment that hit too close to home, or you just haven’t had time to figure out how to proceed.

Well, my friend, this is your time. This is your space. If you have big ideas for how God could use the gifts he’s given you and the years of your life that remain, and you have a dream that would serve others, let’s figure out how to turn that heartfelt hidden dream into real, actionable plans with impact for God’s kingdom work in the world.

Merritt Onsa:

My sweet friend Jill Felix, welcome to the Devoted Dreamers podcast.

Jill Felix:

Thanks for having me, Merritt.

Merritt Onsa:

I'm so used to being with you on walks outside our kids’ school, but it's really fun to see you on Zoom too. So thanks again for coming and being willing to share your story.

I always start off with the question about your God-shaped dream and I love how you put it in the notes. Will you tell us about your deepest desire for the work that you would do for God's kingdom?

Jill Felix:

Definitely. My deepest desire is to help believers know how God has wired them and gifted them. I use the Strengths Finder assessment, but I also use spiritual gifts tests, and just my gift of compassion and empathy. I like to hear people's stories. I want to know: Who are you? How are you wired? Who has God made you to be? Because I want people, I want believers to make a greater impact in God's kingdom. And our world needs strong believers who understand their identity in Christ, but they're also grounded in truth and they know who they are, so that when the world comes at them, they're able to stand firm in who they are in Christ, but also how God's gifted them.

So that's my greatest desire. I love encouraging people. I really want people to finish the race and I want them to finish the race well. So that's, that's why I do what I do.

Merritt Onsa:

Yes. It's so beautiful. And I'll just reveal that you have done this with me and I'm constantly referring back to the conversations that you and about strengths and talents and we'll get into more of the details. But I love that in this month where I'm talking in all of my episodes about purpose, how this conversation with you weaves so nicely into that topic.

So let's rewind a little bit. You probably didn't always know this is what you wanted to do or the way you wanted to do it, so how did you sense a prompting to move in this direction? What were some of those like breadcrumbs from the early years?

Jill Felix:

Yeah. I know that when I was on staff with CRU in New Zealand in 2008, that we went through the StrengthsFinder assessment as a team and I thought it was so fascinating learning about my team's talents and I loved it, but I didn't really know what to do with it. And I was also a young mom, so I put my folder away and when we moved home from New Zealand in 2010, my husband was put in the CRU Regional Office and Bert Robinson ended up taking our teams through Core Clarity. And Core Clarity, basically, that’s what I'm trained in. We're interpreters of the Strengths Finder assessment. So it was that extra piece of information that I was missing back in 2008, and I remember it kept coming to my mind over the years.

And then in 2016, I went to my—at that point, I was on staff with Lifelines, which is an outdoor ministry of CRU—and I went to my team leaders and I said, hey, could I get trained in Core Clarity and then use that within Lifelines? And CRU is the one who sent me to the Core Clarity training.

And early on, 2016 to 2017, I just trained a bunch of CRU staff. And I loved working with the teams. And what I noticed was, as I was working with the teams within CRU, that people outside of CRU kept asking me to coach them. And I was like, oh, is that allowed? So I would coach everyone for free because I wasn't supposed to be doing that. And then it got to the point where I was like, oh, man, I love this so much. I think this is what I want to do.

Merritt Onsa:

So you said that was about 2016,

Jill Felix:

2016. I went to the training in Texas, and I did meet, there was a guy at the training named John Crawford, and CRU was going through a lot of changes in 2016, and there were all these rumblings inside Josh and I of like, oh, are we kind of hitting a ceiling? Is God telling us to move and do something different? And so it was amazing how God just kept putting people in our lives. That moved us towards me coaching and my husband towards the business he runs and a ministry we run. But John Crawford, he's the one who brought us to Florida in 2017 to help us think through our family dreams. And me being a Core Clarity facilitator was a part of that.

Merritt Onsa:

That's so cool. I always say to pay attention to, like, those divine appointments, those meeting certain people that just had a really big influence or something that some experience that God's taken you through, like, pay attention to what God's doing here because he's doing something.

Jill Felix:

And we've noticed that when we're in the right place, that we're really content and that usually when God's getting us to a point where he wants to move us into a new season, there'll be all these undercurrents in our lives that are, like, bubbling up or different dreams or different thoughts.

And it was also during that time that Josh and I went on a hike, and we… I was asking him, hey, if you weren't on staff with CRU, what would you do with your life? And he had this amazing dream that I had never heard of. And so. And it was just really cool how God was definitely stirring things in our lives during 2017.

Merritt Onsa:

Yeah. So would you say that was kind of the turning point for you in realizing, like, this is the direction we're going or I'm going?

Jill Felix:

Yeah, I would say that we. I just, I loved it so much that I knew this is definitely the direction I want to go in. And it was John, when he flew us to Florida, that he said. You know, Jill, it'd be really easy for you to leave staff with CRU and to launch out into your own coaching business because Josh will be on staff and he'll still get paid. So it's a really. It's a good step of faith that you kind of can't fail, because if you try to launch out and run your own business and you completely fail, then you can always come back on staff. But at least Josh was on staff getting the full paycheck, and it really gave me the freedom to just try. Although my friend, one of my friends, we were laughing. We're like, it's so much easier to join staff with CRU than it is to leave staff with CRU. Because after 19 years, we got really used to that environment. The friends, the teams, the camaraderie. And so leaving felt a little scary. And my friend joked with me that it was like I was a little baby bird being kicked out of the nest that I had to fly on my own. Yes. And so, yeah, it was that. That was when I was like, I'm going for it. I'm just gonna try it. Why? Why not?

Merritt Onsa:

Why not? Yeah.

Jill Felix:

Yeah.

Merritt Onsa:

So this has been your business since about 2017?

Jill Felix:

2017. Yes. I started Radiate Life Coaching.

Merritt Onsa:

Awesome. So great. So that's been. What did we say, like, eight years? Do the math. I can't do the math while I'm having a conversation, but something like that. 2016 was nine years.

In that season or in any of it, what has been the most difficult part of pursuing this dream?

Jill Felix:

I would say the most difficult part has been that, yeah, since 2008. Sorry. Makes me want to cry. We've just had a lot of loss in my family. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2008, and when we moved home from New Zealand, we were pretty worn out from ministry. But then my dad was having a tough time, which meant my mom was having a tough time.

And then we kept having to move my parents, and at one point, we even, my sweet husband finished the entire basement of our house so that my mom could live with us for five years while my dad was sick.

And so I would say that that has been a little bit emotionally tiring at times. You know, we've had to step away from our jobs or our companies to go, like, away for a weekend so that we can meet with a counselor because we're having such a hard time, you know, feeling sad about what my parents are going through. So definitely at times that made me really tired or, you know, around the time that my dad was dying in—he died January of 2020, right before COVID hit.

Um, you know, there's so much going on preparing for him dying that I didn't... There was probably one year of my business that I barely did anything, but I kept meeting. I remember that year, I kept meeting with friends that were safe because I didn't want to lose my ability to coach. But I knew I also didn't have the emotional energy to coach large teams. So there was, around 2019, I was pretty emotionally worn out from my sweet dad because I was so close to him that I would coach Bible studies or I would coach someone like you.

And, you know, hey, I'm going to keep coaching people, but I'm not going to put a lot of pressure on myself. I don't think I made any money that year. I was like, oh, maybe I made like a thousand bucks, but I knew in my heart, just, you just keep coaching who you can, and there will be a season where you will have more capacity. So, yeah.

Merritt Onsa:

Yeah, I think that's really important to recognize, like, while we have these dreams. We also have the rest of life and the people that we love and other responsibilities that, you know, may or may not be known when you step into a dream. So, thanks for sharing that. Your tears are always welcome.

****

I hope you’re enjoying today’s conversation and considering what you’re hearing that can apply to your own big dream.

We were never meant to do these things alone, so I’ve got something for you that might help…

Imagine a space where everyone understands your journey without explanation. Where a story shared makes you think, “Finally, someone who gets it!” and you instantly feel at home with this group of women.

Where admitting fear, perfectionism, or procrastination isn’t just venting; it’s the next step toward renewing your mindset, and a reminder of our hope in Christ, not in our performance or results.

It’s a place where imposter syndrome doesn’t get a foothold because we are secure in our identity, value and worth in Jesus (but maybe we just needed a sister to speak a little truth over us that day).

This is the Dream Believers community that I’m talking about – a virtual space bringing together some of the most heartfelt, Jesus-loving women with big dreams that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Although our particular dreams are as different as we are unique image bearers of God, we are walking the same road, fighting back lies of the enemy, ditching procrastination, and beginning to believe we are capable of the next right steps.

Some of the best connections happen in the smallest moments in the community. A struggle shared on a Tuesday afternoon, by evening there’s a collection of ideas and a few “me-too” replies.

If you’re ready for a community to surround you in pursuing your God-shaped dream, or figuring out how to begin, then Dream Believers is for you.

I only open the doors a few times each year, so this is your moment to get your name on the list for exclusive early-bird access when that time comes. Go to merrittonsa.com/dreamco. That’s merrittonsa.com/dreamco.

These are the women you’ll be thanking by name when you’re looking back a year from now, amazed at what God has done with the dream He’s given you.

Again, the link to get on the list is merrittonsa.com/dreamco

And now, back to the conversation…

****

Merritt Onsa:

Well, as you've walked this journey, I'd love to hear you talk about any, like, specific scriptures or spiritual disciplines or practices that have supported you on what I assume is probably not an easy journey.

Jill Felix:

Yeah. I would say that both Josh and I through, sometimes it's even through failure, you. You realize, oh, that's something I should implement into my life, because that's really helpful. So when we moved home from New Zealand, we did go to a place called the Potter's Inn. It's no longer up and running. But we met with a counselor there named David, and he was just the kindest person, who I've also coached, and he has the most amazing gifts for blessing people. But it was when we were there that I realized we definitely needed Sabbath rest once a week. We needed to take more time off and just Sabbath rest. Which is why now Josh and I, we've put into our schedule, like, I mean, it doesn't have to be perfect, but we try to go on dates, even if it's a cheap date. Like, hey, we're going to ride our bikes down and get ice cream and just spend time together, or we're going to go hiking. But I try to spend quality time with my husband.

We do try to get away a few times a year, whether it's like a planning little trip together for three days or whether we're meeting with a counselor because we're stuck, or whether we're just having fun and we're sometimes we don't have enough money to go anywhere fancy. So we drive to Cheyenne, which is an hour away, and we just do, like, fun little coffee dates and go out to dinner and hang out together. But making sure I prioritize my marriage.

We try to do special things with our kids. At least one trip a year with our kids. It's just really fun. It doesn't have to be fancy. It can be, hey, we went to the Tetons and camped, or we went up to the mountains and we hiked a lot.

I try to read my Bible every day and pray a lot because that's the foundation of who I am. If I'm far away from God and if I'm not praying, I know that I don't actually have a lot to offer people. So. And that's a whole other part of my story from early on.

But I learned pretty quickly as a kid that was pretty athletic and driven and idolized sports and achievement. When God got a hold of my life, he flipped that upside down and put me in a lot of situations where I was pretty humbled and incompetent and unaware of what I was doing. I learned how to rely on the Lord.

And now I've realized, oh, my gosh, God is so much more powerful than I am. So if I don't spend more time with him and if I don't read Scripture and if I don't pray, there's not going to be a whole lot of great things for me to share with other people, because I won't be very discerning. I won't be very helpful. I won't be a healthy person that's good at coaching because I have my own issues.

I don't know. I'm trying to think. One of the verses that stood out to me is Hebrews 10:23-25, says, “Let us hold unswerving to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Jill Felix:

And ultimately, I know that being a Christian and walking with God can be pretty tough. And there are definitely times in my life where things have been so hard that I'm like, oh, my gosh, Lord, what are you doing? But I want, maybe it's the athlete in me. I want people to finish the race. Like, that's more than anything I want. I want believers to finish the race. And I think that over the last few years, I've just seen a lot of people that I love, like, not walking with God or they've fallen away from the Lord.

And I want, because of hard things. Like, I want people to finish the race. And the more people know who they are and how they're wired and gifted, I believe that they can have more perseverance because I also believe that the enemy attacks us in the areas where we are the strongest. So when I'm coaching people, I look at their story. What is the lie that you believe? What is the area that you're stuck in? Or you believe a lie about yourself, because that is probably the best part of you.

Merritt Onsa:

What's an example? Like, if there's one that you could think of off the top of your head?

Jill Felix:

I mean, I know in my personal life I have, whether it's intentionally or unintentionally, I've definitely had a thread of rejection in my life that happened early on in my life, you know, and looking back, I can see how God used all those circumstances to actually point me towards people that may be better for me. So it's not all bad. But I've always deeply loved people, and so I feel like the enemy was trying to get me to move away from people. Like, hey, you're hurt in this area, so I want you to move away from people. But really, I really love meeting with people. I want to know what is your story? Who are you? What's your family? I really want people to succeed.

I wonder if that's even just connected to when I was a kid. I remember my swim coach came up to me at a meet and he's like, you know, Jill, you’d probably swim faster in these meets if you weren't running around cheering for all your friends. And I was like, hey, but that's like, the best part of these swim meets.

I can remember running in races, and I was having a tough time at state one year in cross country, and I turned to this girl, one of my teammates, and I was like, trust me, you can run faster than me right now. You should go for it. Just go. Like, I didn't care if people were better than me. So I, like, I want to bring out the best in people. I want to encourage people. And that connects with my spiritual gifts of, like, high gift of empathy, mercy, exhortation, administration’s in there. I just, I really want… discernment, intercession. Those are my gifts, and I love using them to help people.

Merritt Onsa:

Jill, I can attest that you have really beautiful gifts that God has given you and spiritual gifts and talents. And I appreciate just how you have such a heart for people to know who they are, to have a secure identity in Christ and to flourish in the gifts that he's given them, it's really precious.

Before we go, we're going to talk again next week, but before we go, I'd love to have you just bring it all back to giving glory to God. Talk about how he's transformed you from who you were before you even knew there was this dream to who you are today.

Jill Felix:

You know, I would say that God has definitely transformed my life since stepping out in faith in 2017. I know that God used my journey on staff with CRU probably more than anything to teach me how to step out in faith because I did.

This is something I don't know if people know about me, but I was the kid that couldn't sleep over at friends’ houses when I was little cuz I loved my family so much that I would get homesick and they'd have to come pick me up.

So it is an absolute miracle that I went to Albania in 1996 and that I went to Fiji and that I lived in New Zealand for six years. That is a testimony of God. So early on, those steps of faith, when I heard God say, I'm asking you to go here, Jill, please just trust me. That's made me who I am.

And so still to this day, you know, that step of faith was hard in 2017 to leave CRU and the little bird that got kicked out of the nest. But I was like, okay, I'm going to take these steps of faith and I'm going to set up my LLC and I don't know what I'm doing, but someone's going to help me.

And I'm going to thankfully have a husband who's a designer and created my logo and helped me set up my website. And I leaned into him for some of the content because I am not a good writer.

But you know, through Core Clarity, I was like, well, what are the areas I'm not good at? And I'm going to bring people in to help me. And so I've leaned on a lot of people. I'm definitely not afraid to take steps of faith and I just encourage people: You learn the most when you're taking those steps of faith. It can be scary, but it's definitely where the adventure begins.

And I always view my life as, I don't want to be the Dead Sea. I don't want to have all this water and information coming in and not giving out to anybody. Because again, I don't want to be stuck. I don't want not to grow. And so that's probably who I am at a core as a believer is I don't tend to stay stuck very long because if I'm really sad, I'll ask for help.

If I'm paralyzed and I don't know how to put the content in my website. I ask for help and I don't live with a lot of regrets. I think because of that, because I trust that when I've taken a step of faith, even if I fail, I know that God was like, try this, try that. And I'm like, okay, God, I'm being obedient. And that totally bombed, but I definitely learned and we've been able to use that in our boys’ life. This week they both kind of having a tough week and I, Josh and I were looking back on our stories and I, I was like, yeah, some of the most amazing things that I've learned have been through my biggest failures or my biggest letdowns or something I was so excited for like, for example, for one year, I reached out to 15 different schools and God just closed that door. He's like, nope, I don't want you going in that direction. And so it felt like it could have been a failure. Like, I'm failing. I don't know how to promote my businesses to schools. But really God was saying, no, over here, over here. Like, I want you to go this way. And you're kind of slow, like over here, Jill. So I have heard the Lord and I'm like, okay, no more schools unless they come to me. I'm not pursuing a bunch of schools anymore.

Merritt Onsa:

That’s beautiful.

Jill Felix:

Yeah.

Merritt Onsa:

Well, come on back next week. We're going to talk more about the Strengths Finder and Core Clarity and the ways that Jill supports believers in their run in the running of the race to finish well. Thanks, Jill, for being here.

My friends, tune in every week. Like I said, this is going to be a weekly show this year. Invite your friends. Share this episode and mostly trust God’s guidance for the dream that He has given you.

Finally, Daughter of the King, you were made for a beautiful purpose. Your identity and security rest in him, as does your dream, because the Lord is good and his ways are always good. No weapon formed against you will prosper because you belong to Him.

Until next week, stay faithful, keep dreaming. And remember, trusting God with your next step doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be scary. It means taking the step anyway. That’s what faith is.

You are welcome here among women braving those scary steps in faith, knowing our dreams matter because they are His.

Until next time, I’m Merritt Onsa, your dream coach and sister in Christ walking by faith with you in the dream.

Have a great week.

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